When God's Will Hurts

FROM LordYouAre.com By Jack Helser Jesus said “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” (Luke 9:23-24). Each of us has a cross to carry. Though the Lord bears our burdens (Psalm 68:19) our crosses still seem overwhelming to us. Sometimes we add to our burden by envying others who seem to have a smaller cross. Even Peter was envious. When Jesus told Peter how he would die, Peter asked ‘what about John’ and Jesus replied “…What’s it to you? Follow me!” (John 21:22) “Follow me!” means focus on Christ who leads the way. When we focus on our cross and compare our cross to others, we often become resentful toward God for our cross. Nothing increases the pain of the cross like resentment and the anger it breeds. I know - I’ve resented God for my cross. Moving to Illinois at the Lord's direction, while my 3 daughters remain in Washington state has been painful. My parents, brother and sister, and many friends remain in Washington, where I had lived all my life. If not for the brothers and sisters in the Lord who have helped me bear my cross, my grief would have overwhelmed me. It is their prayers, love and friendship that are helping me through this difficult transition. But what right do I have to be resentful of God for my cross? God is perfect in every way, and in His sovereignty He has the right to do with me as He pleases. God owns me. “The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it” (Psalm 24:1). Have you ever looked at your cross and asked God “Why me?” If ever anyone had a good reason to be angry and resentful toward God, it was Job. Though Job was said to be “God-fearing”, “blameless and upright”, he was severely tested, and having lost everything, his wife suggested that he “curse God and die”. Afflicted with open sores from head to foot Job replied “shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” (Job 2:10). Though Job lamented his loss and terrible suffering as undeserved, he did not curse God. Like Job, I didn’t consider anything I had done to be deserving of such a cross. In my self-pity, I had not reckoned that God, in His sovereignty, had given me a cross just big enough to crucify my flesh, teach me trust and patience, and mold me in the image of Christ. Mostly, God wants to show me His heart, by letting me feel just a little of what He felt when His children were torn from Him by sin, and the depth of His love for us in sacrificing Jesus to win us back from hell. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23). Whatever our ideas about the kind of cross we deserve are nonsense. Our sin warrants death. Thankfully, God gave us His only Son Jesus, who selflessly died in our place. In the end, I took my anger and resentment to the Lord in prayer and He said “wash my feet”. There I found cleansing for my anger and resentment. Though He had not wronged me, it was an act I needed to perform to restore a right relationship with Him. Washing His feet was for my benefit, and I was blessed for it (John 13:17). And my cross? How can I lament the size of my little cross when the cross of Christ is large enough to crucify the whole world? Jack Helser